The Confession by Kate Benson

Author:Kate Benson [Benson, Kate]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-05-26T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Jenna

Shortly after the stressful discussion with my boss, Jack returned to me, asking questions about my sudden shift in mood. I didn’t want to talk about it then and for a while, he gave me the space I needed to clear my head. However, once we made it back to my apartment and more than twenty minutes had passed without a word from me on the subject, he’d had his fill and asked me to talk to him about everything going through my mind.

So, I did.

It was scary, but I told him everything I could, cutting nothing out. I explained all the worries I had over not being able to appease my boss’s unreasonable request in the time it would take to secure my hours and position. Jack listened intently, said all the right things and was perfect. He even went so far as to insist on helping me pay the bills at my apartment, so I didn’t feel so much of the financial burden, but that’s exactly what I didn’t want from him.

For so long, I’ve been on my own with Eli. I love Jack and I love being with him, but once you’ve learned how to build your own path, make your own way, it’s hard to take help. It’s hard to put your future in the hands of someone else, especially when there’s more to consider than simply you at the end of the day.

Even when it’s someone you love with all you’ve got.

Sometimes, that’s even harder.

I don’t want Jack to carry the burden of my financial security. That’s not why I’m with him and he knows as much. He said it himself, but this life I’ve built? While it’s small, just a twinkle of light in the sand, it’s mine and I work hard to make sure my son and I are be taken care of, come what may. Relinquishing control over something that means so much to me now feels like an impossible step. Maybe it’s pride, maybe I’m just as stubborn as my mother always claimed me to be. Whatever it is, I don’t ever want to depend on anyone to give me and Eli the life we deserve.

I’m many things, but a damsel has never been one of them.

I want Jack to love me for the woman I’ve become, not feel obligated to save me.

I told him all of this, reiterated half a dozen times how grateful I am for him, for us. He wasn’t thrilled with my determination to keep doing it all on my own, but promised to let it be, let me use the strength I’d found over the last four years to find my own way through this hurdle, simply making me promise to let him know if I needed him.

That’s really all I want.

We’ve been home for more than an hour now and despite my quiet insistence of doing it all on my own, there’s a part of me that wishes I could think like he does. Having endured all he has, Jack’s got a unique way of looking at life that I envy.

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